


The Art of Letting Go

by ItsOnlyAPenName



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Bottom Jensen, Bottom Misha, Childbirth, Children, Death, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Love, M/M, Romance, Sad, Secrets, Self-Harm, Top Jared, Top Jensen, Tragedy, Unresolved Sexual Tension, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:21:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsOnlyAPenName/pseuds/ItsOnlyAPenName
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins fell in love with each other the first time they met. They had dreams of opening up a law firm, getting married, and starting a family. But those dreams were put on hold when a government contract Misha made in his past comes back to haunt him, and Jensen is forced to say goodbye to him forever. Later Jensen meets Jared, a man who promises to mend his broken heart. The only question is if Jensen will let him. Ultimately, he is left to choose between holding on to the man of his past, or accepting the man of his future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“I swear to God, could this line be any longer.” Chad let out an exasperated sigh. He placed his hands on his face and pulled them down, elongating all of his features. “You’re killing me.”

“Yeah Jen, how badly do you need this pretzel?” Tom added, “We’re the last ones in line and halftime’s almost over.”

“Gentlemen, this is my last chance to get a Game Day Pretzel as a Brown undergrad.” Jensen began, “It’s our last game of the season, and I haven’t had one yet.”

“I get that.” Chad started, “But like…look at this line dude. I could probably bust a nut five fucking times before we got to the front.”

“Um…ew.” Jensen replied, his facial features squeezing together in disgust.

“Okay man, that’s a gross overstatement.” Tom snickered

“You guys don’t have to wait with me.” Jensen said, “Go back into the stadium and hold down the fort, I’ll be there soon. Just don’t expect to get any of my pretzel once I’m back.”

“Yeah yeah.” Chad smirked, “Just get back before I give your seat to the hot brunette chick sitting two rows behind me.”

“You dick, you wouldn’t.” Tom laughed.

“He would.” Jensen stated before punching Chad lightly on his arm. “Now, get lost!” 

“You don’t need to tell me twice.” Chad noted. And with that, Chad and Tom disappeared, running into the archway of their seating section.

Half an hour later, Jensen had made it to the front of the line. There was only one guy in front of him…and only one pretzel left.

“Oh my God. No!” Jensen whispered. Feeling incredibly defeated, Jensen abandoned his place in line and began walking toward his section’s arch. 

“Hey!” Someone shouted from behind him. “Hey! Hey you!” Jensen could hear the voice coming closer but he kept walking, assuming the screaming person couldn’t have been trying to talk to him. His friends were all inside of the stadium anyway. “Hey!” the voice called out again, this time it was paired with a palm tapping on his shoulder. “Hey.”

Jensen turned around, surprised by the stranger’s persistence. It was the guy who was in front of him at the pretzel line. “Hi.” Jensen replied, wide eyed. He was taken aback for a moment. As cliché as it sounded, he was lost in the other man’s unusually saturated blue eyes. They we’re piercing into his soul.

“Last game, last pretzel.” The man smiled, “Figured I’d split it with my fellow Bear?” The last part sounded more like a question.

“Yeah? That’s really nice of you, but—“ Jensen started.

“I insist!” The other man broke in. “I’m Misha. Misha Collins.” He held out his hand, waiting for a shake. Jensen looked back and forth between Misha and his hand for a brief moment, before finally accepting his gesture.

“I’m Jensen. Jensen Ackles.” Jensen said, giving Misha a firm-yet friendly- handshake.

“Pleased to meet you.” Misha smiled, and Jensen couldn’t help but smile back at him. He was stunningly beautiful, beyond beautiful… he was angelic. There was no denying Jensen was attracted to the stranger.

Misha thought the same about Jensen, as if his over eagerness didn’t make it obvious enough already. Jensen was drop dead gorgeous, with an incredibly overwhelming aura of sexiness. And Misha had only observed that within the minor interaction they were having.

They had stopped shaking hands, but still held them clasped together, looking each other in the eyes. “Do you want to get out of here?” Misha asked softly. Jensen lifted one of his eyebrows and answered Misha’s question with another.

“What kind of guy do you think I am?” Jensen inquired.

“Hopefully the kind of guy who will sit down with me on the sidewalk and split this pretzel with me while we talk about absolutely nothing. I love talking about nothing, it’s the only thing I know anything about.” Misha smiled, and it was so boyishly cute, it made Jensen’s heart flutter. He didn’t care that his hands we’re getting clammy, or that he might miss the last game of the season. He wanted so deeply to get to know Misha.

“That sounds so great.” Jensen smiled, and Misha led him out of the stadium, where they sat together on the sidewalk immediately outside of the venue.

“So,” Misha began, ripping off a piece of the pretzel, “What brings you to Brown?”

“Law. Once I’m done with undergrad here in the spring, I plan on going to law school here as well. Then finally open a private practi—“ Jensen starts, but is cut off when Misha practically chokes on his pretzel.

“What?” Misha coughs. “No shit. That’s my plan. That is exactly what my plan is.” Misha tried not to smile again, as he decided he had already overdone it in that department. He wasn’t going to spend a full hour, or more, of his life smiling like an idiot.

“You’re kidding?” Jensen inhaled.

“No! No I’m not!” Misha tore off another piece of the pretzel.

“What about after that?" Jensen asked, getting increasingly excited.

“Well I mean, I haven’t thought that far yet, but after the whole private practice thing is alive and kicking I would want to settle down, have a family…” Misha paused.

“…A daughter” They both whispered at the same time. Jensen looked Misha in the eyes, and felt something he had never felt for anyone else. He was sure it must have been the onset of love, and with the way Misha was staring back at him he was sure Misha felt the same way.

“You.” Jensen breathed before ripping off a piece of Misha’s pretzel, “You’re perfect.” He took a bite out of the pretzel and Misha watched him chew, in awe.

“Jensen. Do you believe in soul mates?” Misha didn’t break his gaze.

“I guess…” Jensen pondered, “I never really thought about it before.” He took another piece of the pretzel but stopped before he took a bite, “but the idea sounds pretty damn nice.”

There was a sudden eruption of cheers. “Do you think that means we won?” Jensen laughed.

“Probably.” Misha replied, “We should probably get out of here before people start pouring out of the stadium.” He crumbled up the pretzel’s wrapping paper and stood up. Jensen followed suit.

“I owe you for the pretzel.” Jensen noted.

“No, no. I insisted, remember?” Misha laughed.

“But I want to see you again.” Jensen stated sheepishly.

“Thank God I’m not the only one who feels that way.” Misha grabbed his chest as he chuckled. 

“Do you wanna grab coffee sometime?” Jensen asked, staring down at the ground while he rocked back and forth on his heels.

“Are you asking me on a date?” Misha taunted, grinning. He took a step closer to Jensen, which caused him to look up.

“Yeah. I guess I am.” Jensen rubbed the back of his neck, and Misha smiled…which he internally scolded himself for.

“Well, I’d love to.” Misha said gently. 

“How about tomorrow, around two. Meet at Connor’s Coffee Co. right outside of campus?” Jensen asked.

“Perfect.” Misha confirmed.

“Perfect.” Jensen repeated.

******************

The next day, Jensen waited at the Coffee Co. around the corner of the campus’ main entrance. He sat at a table for two, tapping his feet like a wildly unstable child. It was two-o-three. Misha was late…three minutes late. He knew he was being completely irrational, but he kept thinking of reasons why Misha could be late. Maybe he woke up late, or he was standing Jensen up, or maybe he was dead. Well…hopefully he wasn’t dead.

Around the corner Misha was taking deep breaths. “You can do this Misha. It’s just a date…we’ll just a date with hottest guy you’ve ever met.” He jumped up and down a few times. “Let’s go buddy. You can do it.” He looked at his watch, “Two-o-three” he breathed, “right on time!”

Misha was always tree minutes late to everything: tests, appointments, flights. The first time it was a lucky accident. When he was ten, Misha and his mother were headed to his father’s office for an 8:40 breakfast appointment, but while they were in route Misha had to stop and use the restroom at a nearby coffee shop across from the office. By the time they ran out of the shop it was 8:43, they were three minutes late for breakfast, but just in time to see the first plane hit the World Trade Center. Just in time to see their whole world crumble in front of them. Misha still remembers his mom falling to her knees, screaming his dad’s name until the ash covered them both. 

From that day on, he was three minutes late to everything. Always. There were no acceptations. Not even the hot man he had met the day before. 

Misha took one last breath before he started walking around the corner. When he approached Connor’s he could see Jensen through the glass, frantically looking at his watch. God he was gorgeous, Misha could feel –and see-his hand shaking as he reached out to grab the door. He made his way over to the table, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans to make sure they were dry.

Jensen looked up when he heard the sound of a chair pulling out in front of him. There, in all of his goofy glory, was Misha, sheepishly grinning down at him. Jensen returned Misha’s grin with one of his own.

“Hi there.” Misha said, sitting down before pushing in his chair.

“Hi.” Jensen said, practically swooning.

“Sorry I’m late.” Misha said.

“Ahh, don’t sweat it.” Jensen replied just as a waitress came around to their table.

“Are you guys ready to order?” The tall beach blonde waitress asked them with a smile. Jensen looked at Misha, who knowingly nodded in response.

“Yup, I think so.” Misha stated, “I’ll have a vanilla latte.”

“Alrighty.” The waitress nodded, writing down his order. “And you?” the waitress turned to Jensen, biting on her pen suggestively.

“I’ll have a caffè mocha. With a cup of extra whip please.” He said, clearing his throat.

“Sure thing.” The waitress smiled, hitting her pen playfully against the notepad. “Will that be all?” She asked, leaning closer to Jensen and blatantly exposing her chest.

“Mmhm,” He murmured.

The waitress walked away, hips swaying. She took another look at Jensen from over her shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen.

“Looks like I’ve got some competition.” Misha suggested. Jensen looked him in the eyes before smiling.

“Nah.” Jensen said, “Not my type.”

“Okay so, I mean…its pretty safe to assume you aren’t straight?” Misha raised his left eyebrow, earning himself a chuckle from Jensen.

“If that wasn’t obvious enough.” He continued laughing.

“I mean hey! These days you never know!” Misha said.

“Well I know.” Jensen declared. “I’m gay. I mean I tried things, went out with girls in high school, even here. But I’m done questioning. I know what I want.” He looked up at Misha with a fire in his eyes, a fire that quickly began to make its way down into his pants. Misha cursed himself for being so easily flustered. 

“You don’t say.” Misha smirked.

“Uh-huh.” Jensen hummed. “What about you?”

“Ha.” Misha began with a laugh. “I think I had my first boyfriend when I was like…six. Theoretically of course.” He waved his hands, “You know how playground love stories go. I pushed him too hard on the swing set one day and he broke his nose. Safe to say he wanted a divorce.”

Jensen laughed, “Goddamn Misha, you’re hilarious.”

“I’ve been told I’m quite the hoot.” He chortled.

Just then the waitress arrived with their drinks. “A vanilla latte for you!” She put own a coaster in front of Misha before giving him his drink.

“Thanks.” He mumbled.

“Welcome.” She replied. “And here’s your caffè mocha.” She placed the drink and coaster in front of Jensen. “With extra whipped cream.” She winked at him before setting down the other cup. “Now if there’s anything else you need…” She paused, “just let me know.”

“I think I’ll be just fine.” Jensen said. He took Misha’s free hand in his own and Misha smiled in response.

“Oh my God. Fuck.” The waitress’ hands flew to her mouth. “I’m so sorry guys.” She whispered.

“It’s no problem.” Jensen proclaimed.

“Ummm…drinks are on the house.” The waitress said blushingly before she sped away.

“What about the whip?” Misha called after her, laughing.

“I swear to God, some people.” Jensen chuckled.

“It happens.” Misha breathed.

“She was very pretty though.” Jensen observed.

“Hey!” Misha teased, lightly kicking Jensen under the table. Jensen winked in response. Then they sat there, peering at eachother over the rims of their coffee cups, not speaking with their mouths, but only with their eyes as they enjoyed their own comfortable silence, undisturbed by the constant hum the of twenty other conversations happening around them.

“Tell me something that not many people know about you.” Jensen asked, breaking the silence.

“Ahhh, diving right into the meaty questions.” Misha grinned, “I like it.” He looked up and put his index finger on his chin, “Hmmm let me see…”

“Take your time.” Jensen took a sip of his coffee.

“Well…” Misha began, ““teeechnically I’m an army man.”

“No.” Jensen said matter-of-factly “Get out of here!” He shook his head.

“Don’t let my boyish physique fool you.” Misha said mischievously, “There’s more to me than meets the eye.”

“Don’t tell me you’re secretly a Transformer too!” Jensen gasped. 

“I fucking wish!” Misha snickered, taking a sip of his latte.

“Why’d you do it?” Jensen asked, “Why’d you join the army?”

“Well, after losing my dad during 9/11 –” Misha started.

“What?” Jensen practically choked on his coffee, “Jesus Christ! I’m so sorry Misha!”

“It’s alright. I’ve come to terms with it.” Misha breathed, “I signed up for the armed forces as soon as it was legal for me to do so, but I’ve never been called, thank God. Because if I had… who knows, I might not have met you.”

Jensen looked at Misha, mesmerized. “Wow.”

“What?” Misha inquired.

“There’s just something about you…” Jensen trailed off. 

Misha blushed and looked down, smiling. “Meh, I’m nothing special.” Misha said, still smiling, before taking another sip of his latte. “Tell me something about yourself. Something most people don’t know.”

“I used to be a gymnast.” Jensen revealed. 

“No. Way.” Misha couldn’t hold back a smile.

“Yeah. I was destined to be Olympic bound and everything. But when I was thirteen I took a nasty fall off of some bars and I fucked up my ankle. And that was the end of that.”

“Oh man, that sucks. I’m sorry.” Misha said.

“Thanks.” Jensen replied.

“But on the bright side…” Misha took a sip of his latte, “That means you must be super flexible.”

“Ha!” Jensen laughed, “I guess you could say that.” Jensen dipped his spoon into the mountain of whipped cream in front of him and placed it in his mouth. He was so damn cute. Misha knew right then he was going to fall for him. And he was going to fall hard.

“I want this every day.” Misha sighed, breaking the silence before taking another sip of his latte.

“This?” Jensen asked, shoveling in another spoonful of whipped cream.

“This…” Misha repeated, but he caught himself before continuing. It was only their first date. He couldn’t push anything on Jensen that soon. “This latte. I’ve never tasted anything better.”

“Huh-really?” Jensen challenged, “Care if I give it a try?”

“Nope. Go ahead.” Misha handed it over to Jensen, who warily took a sip. After a second he put the cup down, wearing a poker face that was impossible for Misha to read.

A moment later Jensen spoke, “Needs more whipped cream.” He said with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk sex anyone?!

************** four years later **************

“Would you like a side of strawberries with that whipped cream?” Misha laughed before kissing Jensen on the back of his neck. He made his way around the chair and straddled Jensen in this seat, plate of fresh strawberries in hand.

“Mmm.” Jensen hummed in half protest, “Baby do you always have to tempt me when I’m working?”

They had made it, passed the Bar with flying colors, and their dreams of creating a private firm were already being realized. Already a year out of law school, they had just landed their first official case. The owner of a small film production company was suing one of her partners, and Jensen had been working so incredibly hard on her case. They had to prove they were a firm to be reckoned with.

“You’ve been working so hard for so long.” Misha half turned and reached behind him, grabbing Jensen’s bowl of whipped cream off of the table before placing it on the strawberry filled plate. He dipped one of the strawberries into the whipped cream, “I thought you deserved a break. Now open up.”

Jensen complied. He looked Misha right in the eyes as he took a bite of the sweet strawberry, letting the juice drip down his chin.

“What am I going to do with you?” Misha sighed lovingly as he shook his head. He wiped Jensen’s chin with his thumb.

“Anything you want.” Jensen smirked. He brought his lips up to meet Misha’s, giving him a tender kiss. Misha broke away from him to place the strawberries and whipped cream back on the table behind him, then he continued kissing his boyfriend. Jensen brought his hands to Misha’s face, cradling him and deepening the kiss. Misha began to slowly grind against Jensen, and Jensen let a soft moan escape from his lips before breaking away.

“Baby.” Jensen breathed as Misha continued to grind on him. “Baby. Baby. C’mon. Stop.”

Misha looked at him. He tilted his head and squinted his eyes. “Stop?” He asked, hips no longer moving, though he thought he surely must have misheard Jensen.

Jensen covered his left eye with his hand. “You know I love it when you make that face.”

“What face?” Misha asked, tilting his head to the other side, eyes still squinted. He lifted his left eyebrow.

“The face you’re doing right now.” Jensen breathed, “The cute confused one.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Misha grinned. He leaned in and started sucking on Jensen’s neck.

“Ugh.” Jensen swallowed. “Baby I can’t. Not right now.”

“Why.” Misha whined. He stopped sucking and rested his head in the crook of Jensen’s neck.

“I want to. Trust me I do.” Jensen sighed. “But I just really have to get this done.”

“Fine.” Misha huffed, getting off of Jensen. “Give me half of the stack. I’ll help you fill out the rest of these.”

“Misha, No.” Jensen asserted. “That’s not fair to you. You already finished your half.”

“Jenny.” Misha took another strawberry off of the plate, “Sweetheart.” He dipped the strawberry in the whipped cream before taking a bite. “It would be my pleasure. Anything that helps take a little bit of the pressure off. I know you’ve been stressed lately about your dad coming into town.”

“The bastard.” Jensen let out a sad chuckle, shaking his head.

“Yeah. So don’t worry about it.” Misha gave Jensen a quick kiss on his forehead.

“I love you.” Jensen whispered. He took Misha’s hand in his, and kissed the back of it.

“Endlessly.” Misha replied. They looked at eachother in silence for a moment. “I’ll be right back.”

Misha left the office and made his way into the kitchen. After finishing law school at Brown they decided to move to Los Angeles, the hub of entertainment law. They were renting an apartment in the heart of the city, saving up for whenever they decided to make the big move. It was decently sized, two bedrooms –one of which had been converted into an office-, two bathrooms, a good sized kitchen, and a living room, all for five times the price they would have paid for something like it back in Rhode Island. But neither of them was complaining. They we’re perfectly happy.

And they had been. Even without the full support of Jensen’s side of the family. Misha’s parents had always been completely accepting of their son’s sexuality. He was their only child, their pride and joy regardless of whomever he decided to stick his dick into. Jensen’s parent’s found it a lot harder to cope with the fact that their son was gay. Eventually his mom warmed up to him, but his dad didn’t show signs of acceptance until a month or so prior to that point. Jensen had always been a family man. His family meant the world to him, and Jensen needed his dad’s acceptance more than anything, especially because he was going to ask Misha to marry him soon. And he needed his dad to be okay with that.

Misha returned from the kitchen with two glasses of white wine, one of which he dropped in front of Jensen before picking up half of his stack of papers and taking a seat at the table, across from him.

“Lets get to work.” Misha said, raising his glass. Jensen nodded and raised his glass before taking a gulp of his wine. Misha laughed at his boyfriend and began to sift through the papers in front of him.

Once they began working it only took them a little over an hour and a half to get through their individual stacks. Misha looked at his watch. It was eleven o’clock and he was on his third glass of wine. Jensen had finished four glasses in the same short time span. Misha looked up to see Jensen resting his head on the table.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet Jenny.” Misha whispered. He made his way over to Jensen, and put his papers back into their respective folders, along with the papers he had been working on.

Misha rubbed Jensen’s back. “Sweetheart.”

“Uhhh.” Jensen mumbled.

“Sweetheart let’s go to bed.” Misha patted him gently.

“Uh-huh, okay.” Jensen grumbled. He got up slowly, half drunk, half exhausted. “Baby.” Jensen smiled at Misha, who was holding out his hand. Jensen happily took it.

“Sweetheart.” Misha replied. He led Jensen into their bedroom, where they promptly began to lazily undress. “Are you alright?” Misha asked Jensen, who was struggling to take off his tie.

“Yeah! Barely even drunk.” Jensen beamed, clearly a little intoxicated.

“C’mere.” Misha playfully demanded. He was feeling slightly inebriated himself. Jensen slowly made his way over to Misha, who promptly placed his hands behind Jensen’s neck and enveloped him in a kiss.

“So fucking stressed.” Jensen breathed as he broke away. He was nose to nose with Misha, and they were both breathing hard in their bubbly stupor.

“I can help you with that.” Misha smirked, pulling on Jensen’s tie as he undid it.

“ _Can you now…?_ ” Jensen inhaled.

“Mmhhm.” Misha hummed. “All you need is one.” He paused, and playfully bit Jensen’s nose, “good.” he bit Jensen’s bottom lip, “fuck.” Misha slammed his lips against Jensen’s and Jensen wasted no time licking Misha’s lips, asking for entrance, which Misha gladly permitted.

They clumsily removed eachother’s clothing, never breaking away from their kiss. “I’m gunna fuck you so good baby.” Jensen grunted, finally breaking away. He pushed Misha onto the bed and stumbled over to his bedside drawer; feverishly sifting through its contents until he found the bottle of lube he was looking for. “Gottcha!” He thrust it in the air triumphantly.

Misha laughed, “Jenny you’re adorable.”

“Am not!” Jensen shot him a glare. “Face down. Ass up.” He commanded. “I’ll show you fucking adorable.”

Misha readily complied, resting his face on the pillow. He laid in all of his naked glory, with his ass in the air, ready and waiting for Jensen.

Jensen got on the bed and made his way behind Misha. He wound up his hand before slapping Misha’s ass. Upon contact there was a loud cracking noise, earning an audible wince from Misha. In response Jensen slapped him again and Misha flinched.

“Jenny. It hurts.” Misha whimpered, “But it’s so…”

“Good?” Jensen slapped him again before inserting two freshly lubed fingers into Misha. He twisted them around, making sure the other man was properly prepped. “I may be a tad bit more drunk than I let on…” Jensen removed his fingers from Misha’s ass and stared down at his half-hard member with a sheepish smile.

“You idiot.” Misha laughed, picking his head off of the pillow. He got up on all fours and turned around to face Jensen. “Lay down.”

Jensen obeyed. He got on his back and Misha crawled between his legs. “Misha to the goddamn rescue.” He giggled. He grabbed Jensen’s penis and slowly licked up the length of the shaft, circling the tip with his tongue. Jensen propped up on his elbows so that he could make eye contact with Misha. Keeping his eyes focused on Jensen’s, Misha slowly licked the tip of Jensen’s penis before gently blowing cold air on it.

“Mmmm.” Jensen moaned.

“You like that sweetheart?” Misha said, in between licks. He lightly kissed the tip of Jensen’s cock before making his way down to its base. From there he began zealously sucking on Jensen’s balls. The other man’s moans were quickly turning Misha on. He had to work fast. “No time for dilly dallying Jenny.” Misha said. He proceeded to take Jensen’s entire length into his mouth, instantly becoming a human vacuum. Misha rapidly bobbed his head up and down, creating a steady rhythm and hollowing his cheeks. He used one hand to gently massage Jensen’s balls, making sure to carefully let them glide between his fingertips.

“Baby I’m gunna cum!” Jensen breathed. Falling back onto the mattress, unable to keep himself up.

“Nu-uh. Not yet.” Misha stopped sucking and Jensen whimpered. “Not until you fuck me. Let’s just hope you last.”

“You’re such-” Jensen started.

“A hoot?” Misha finished his sentence, smiling before placing his head back onto his pillow, ass in the air. “I know.”

Jensen laughed as he positioned himself, lining up perfectly for entrance. He didn’t waste any time and plowed into Misha, his laugh quickly turning into a groan. Even in his inebriated state, Jensen was incredibly impressive at holding his own. He began with a moderate pace, steadily corking himself into Misha with the winding movement of his hips. After a few good pumps Jensen picked up speed, jamming into his boyfriend with a fast, intentional rhythm.

“Oh Jenny! Yes! Jenny that feels so good.” Misha purred. Jensen tried to keep up the pace, one hand placed on Misha’s hip, the other languidly wandering all over his boyfriends back.

“Baby!” Jensen huffed. His thrusts became wild and clumsy as he felt himself approaching an orgasm.

“C’mon Jenny. I’m almost there.” Misha exhaled deeply, stroking himself into a frenzy. Jensen continued to thrust wildly until he could feel his throbbing member release. Misha welcomed the warm liquid, pressing against Jensen so that he was as far inside of him as possible. He could feel himself being completely filled by Jensen and it drove him wild. It took two more good pumps and he had finished himself off, both of them screaming in ecstasy.

“Baby!” Jensen bellowed as he collapsed next to Misha on the bed. They we’re facing eachother, legs tangled lazily together.

“I love you. So, so much.” Misha whispered.

“Endlessly.” Jensen replied. They both stared lovingly at each other in silence, breathing in sync until they fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

“Sweetheart did you hear that?” Misha asked.

“Hear what?” Jensen grumbled, rolling over to face Misha.

“That?” Misha stated, baffled by Jensen’s inability to hear what he was hearing.

Jensen grumbled. “What?” Suddenly the knocking on the door became more persistent and intense. It sounded like someone was repeatedly throwing a hammer at their front door.

“Jensen I swear to God. Open this door!” Jensen recognized the voice immediately. It was his younger sister.

“Mackenzie.” Jensen stated. He picked up his head and hit it against his pillow, not ready –by any means- to get out of bed. The knocking continued. 

“If Kenzie’s here…” Misha started, wiping his face with his hands, “Then that means…”

“Dad!” Jensen hollered, jolting up from bed. He scrambled amongst the pile of clothes on the floor until he found his boxer briefs. 

“Jensen!” Mackenzie yelled.

“I’m coming! I’m coming!” Jensen shouted. He ran into the bathroom and quickly brushed his teeth before grabbing a pair of sweats he had left there two nights before, practically jumping into them as he made his way to the front door.

“Jen—”

“Kenzie!” Jensen interrupted his sister as he swung the door open. “What are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too Jen.” Mackenzie noted, stepping past Jensen and into the apartment. She dropped her oversized Vera Bradley bag by the door and headed towards the kitchen.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Jensen breathed. He followed his sister into the kitchen, where she proceeded to go to the fruit bowl and rip a banana off of the bunch.

“It’s Saturday Jen. You knew we were coming today!” She said as she peeled the banana.

“It’s Saturday?” Jensen asked. He placed his palm on his forehead in bewilderment.

“Are you on drugs?” Mackenzie smirked, taking a bite out of her banana. Jensen shot her a dirty look in response.

“Who’s the little bird making all of that noise?” Misha said drowsily as he walked into the kitchen, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

“Misha!” Mackenzie screamed. She ran past Jensen and enveloped Misha in a large bear hug.

“Hey Kenzie!” Misha laughed. “What are you doing—”

“It’s Saturday.” Jensen spoke before Misha could ask the same question he already had moments prior.

“Whatever you guys are on, I want some.” Mackenzie snorted.

“Wow.” Misha gasped, still laughing. “It’s Saturday? Jenny we suck!”

“I swear you guys are so weird.” Mackenzie let go of Misha and rested against the stove, “But I love it.” 

“Where are mom, dad, and Josh?” Jensen asked, opening the cupboard and taking out three coffee mugs.

“Josh isn’t coming. He’s with Lucy at the hospital.” Mackenzie sighed.

“What?” Jensen closed the cabinet and turned around.

“Yeah. I think she relapsed.”

“No.” Misha exhaled.

“Yeah.” Mackenzie took another bite of her banana.

Three years ago Jensen’s younger brother, Josh, and his girlfriend, Lucy, got into a car accident when a drunk driver hit them when they we’re coming back from a dinner party. Josh came out of it pretty unscathed, but Lucy was badly hurt. She was in a coma for two months, and even after she became conscious again, it took a while for her to recover, during which she became addicted to prescription pills.

“Mom and Dad are downstairs parking though. They should be up any minute.” Mackenzie took one last bite of her banana. “So you two might want to get some shirts on.” There was a knock at the door.

“God fucking dammit.” Jensen sneered.

“I’ll answer it.” Mackenzie said. Jensen and Misha went back into their room, changing into jeans and button up tees. They could hear Mackenzie in the living room, trying her best to stall.

“Alright.” Jensen smiled at Misha once they were both dressed. Jensen went in for a quick kiss but when he tried to pull away Misha grabbed him, deepening it.

“Here goes nothing.” Misha exhaled. They walked out of their bedroom one after the other and walked made their way down the hallway, they passed the office and the kitchen, stopping again for another kiss before finally entering the living room. Jensen’s parents were both sitting on the couch and Mackenzie was leaning against a bookshelf.

“Jensen!” Donna stood up from the couch; arms open and ready to embrace her son. Jensen readily dove into his mothers open arms.

“Hi mom!” He exclaimed. 

Donna playfully grabbed his cheeks, “Oh, I’ve missed you my darling.” It had only been thee months since he last flew down to Dallas to see his family after Mackenzie’s graduation from Vanderbilt, but to everyone, it felt like it had been a lifetime.

Donna looked over her son’s shoulder. “Misha honey!” She smiled. Jensen let go of his mom and she walked over to Misha, hugging him as well.

“Son.” Jensen’s dad stood up from the couch.

“Dad.” Jensen walked towards his father, who abruptly grabbed him into a hug, patting his back. His father grabbed his upper arms, holding Jensen in front of him before shaking him a little. They stared at eachother, his father clearly fighting tears.

“How’ve you been son?”

“Good. I’ve been good.” Jensen nodded. The last time he had seen his father, three months ago, it had ended in a big fight. Both Misha and Jensen had flown out to Tennessee for Mackenzie’s graduation, but Jensen went to back to Dallas to help his sister move all of her stuff back to her new apartment in the city. And while Jensen spent the weekend with his family in Dallas, Misha stayed behind to work on a case. 

On his last night in Dallas, the Ackles’ went to dinner at the Ritz and Jensen’s dad, Alan, brought up the immense distaste he had for his son’s relationship. He told Jensen that he felt repulsed by him. Punches were thrown, and many unpleasant words had been exchanged. 

But a month ago his father called him, apologizing for everything he had said and done. He promised to be different, told Jensen that he had a breakthrough with The Lord and that he was a new man. And after years of indifference he finally told Jensen that he loved him for who he was, and they both broke out in tears over the phone.

“Misha.” Jensen’s dad nodded, holding out his hand. Misha took it and Alan gave him a firm handshake. He then wrapped Misha’s hand in both of his own. “It’s good to see you.”

Misha nodded, “You too sir.” He let go of Alan’s hand.

“Ohhhkay.” Mackenzie chimed in, “I know I’m not the only one who’s hungry.”

“I’m with Kenzie on that.” Jensen stated, “I can make us some breakfast.”

“Don’t be silly darling.” Donna laughed, “We have brunch reservations at this cute little restaurant in Santa Monica, by the beach. It’s supposed to be amazing.”

Jensen looked over at Misha, who gave him a hesitant and closed mouth smile. “That sounds delightful mom.” Jensen said.

“Doesn’t it!” Alan clapped his hands, rubbing them together.

“We’ve also got dinner reservations at the Chez Paree.” Mackenzie chimed in.

Food was always a big thing with his family. They were always going to one fancy restaurant or the other. Jensen thought it was the fault of a miracle that they all managed to stay fit. And by miracle he meant Jacqueline Reynard, their family’s personal trainer.

Sometimes Jensen forgot that he came from money, a long line of businessmen and bankers. It was surprisingly easy to separate himself from his family’s wealth once he was out on his own. But every time they came into town, or he went to visit, he was always reminded of where he came from. The dinner parties, the small talk, the designer clothes. His sister readily embraced their exuberant lifestyle, but Jensen had always wanted to make his own name for himself.

“I hope you boys are ready to eat.” Alan smiled.

By the time dinner rolled around Jensen and Misha were exhausted. It had been a long day. Between brunch and dinner they had spent the entire day shopping with the Ackles’ along Rodeo Drive and the streets of Melrose.

“What a lovely place you two have.” Donna smiled before taking a bite of her salmon. “I meant to tell you that earlier.”

“Thanks mom.” Jensen said, taking a bite of his steak.

“How’s the firm coming along?” Alan asked.

“It’s comin’.” Jensen replied, wiping his mouth.

“I can only see it getting better from here.” Misha added. “Hopefully soon we’ll be able to move the office to an actual building.”

“That would be fantastic!” Donna beamed. “I’m so proud of you two.”

“Thanks Mrs. Ackles.” Misha said.

“Yeah, thanks mom.” Jensen echoed, “We’re really going all in on this.”

“It’ll pay off.” Mackenzie chimed in.

“I hope so.” Jensen breathed.

“I know so.” Misha retorted.

Jensen looked at Misha lovingly, the corners of his lips turning up in a smile. Misha walked his fingers onto Jensen’s lap underneath the table, squeezing once he got to Jensen’s groin. Jensen practically choked on his champagne causing Misha to laugh. Mackenzie looked at them, knowingly.

“Are you alright darling?” Donna asked.

“Yep. Yep, I’m alright.” Jensen coughed, “It just went down the wrong way.” 

“Alright.” Donna looked up from her glass as she took a sip of her champagne.

The waiter came by and handed Alan the check. “How is it already ten thirty?” He asked, looking at his watch.

“You know what they say happens when you’re having fun.” Mackenzie joked.

“Yeah yeah.” Alan laughed. “Go get the valet with your mother please.” He handed Mackenzie the valet ticket as he filled out the check.

“Sure thing daddy-o.” Mackenzie kissed him on the cheek and grabbed the ticket, getting up with her mom.

“Misha.” Jensen whispered, pulling him close. “Would you mind going with Kenzie and my mom? I just have to talk to my dad for a minute.”

Misha shot him a glare, squinting, “Alright.” He said. Jensen kissed his forehead and he got up from the table, making his way outside to meet Jensen’s mother and sister.

Once Misha was out of earshot Jensen turned to his dad, folding his hands on the table in front of him.

“Dad.” Jensen exhaled, looking him in the eye.

“Yes Jensen?”

“I need to tell you something.”

“Something…?”

“Yeah. It’s important.”

“Okay…what’s going on?” Alan handed the check back to the waiter as he passed by, nodding him in thanks.

“I’m going to ask Misha to marry me.” Jensen declared.

Alan was silent.

“Well?” Jensen baited.

Alan wiped his hands with his face, “The way you look at Misha…” His father breathed, “Reminds me of the way I used to –and still- look at your mom.”

Jensen smiled slightly.

“I know you love him.” Alan continued, “And that’s okay.”

“Its…okay?” Jensen wondered, wanting more.

“It’s better than okay. Okay?” Alan affirmed. “You have my support…you have my blessing.”

Jensen smiled, and his dad got up, walking around the table to hug his son, who stood up to hug his dad.

“I’m so happy for you Jensen.” His father professed.

“Me too dad. Me too.” Jensen said, his words muffled by his father’s embrace. They walked out of the restaurant with Alan’s arm lovingly on his son’s shoulders.


	4. Chapter 4

******two weeks later******

“Sweetheart, do you know where by blue tie is?” Misha called from the bedroom, “The one with the little sailboats on it?

“It’s in your drawer, the second one down. Somewhere in there.” Jensen said as he combed his hair in the bathroom. Once he thought he looked presentable enough he took a deep breath and reached into his Armani pant suit pocket, pulling out the blue Tiffany box that contained Misha’s ring.

After telling his parents that he intended to marry his blue eyed boyfriend, Jensen drove over to the Collins’ telling them the same thing. They we’re ecstatic and all three of them cried together joyously.

“Found it!” Misha exclaimed, “Thanks!” Tonight was Misha’s 27th birthday and Jensen was taking him out for dinner at the Beverly Hills Hotel’s Polo Club.

“Are you ready baby?” Jensen said, stepping into the bedroom.

“Yep.” Misha said, turning around.

Jensen gawked at him in awe. Misha was wearing the Gucci Striped Monaco suit that Jensen bought him for his birthday; hair perfectly styled, shoes polished. “You look absolutely stunning.” He gulped.

Misha blushed, “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” He walked towards Jensen, who looked equally as stunning.

Jensen bit his lip. “I cannot _wait_ to make love to you tonight.” He gave Misha a tender kiss, “Baby you look ravishing.” He kissed Misha again.

“Don’t tempt me sweetheart,” Misha grinned. “Or I might just let you have me right here. Right now.”

Jensen laughed, taking hold of Misha’s hand. “C’mon, lets get to dinner.”

Once they arrived at the Polo Club they were seated at a corner table inside. The lights were dimmed and the candles on all of the tables helped create a perfectly romantic ambiance.

“What will you gentlemen be having this evening?” The waitress smiled, pen and pad out, ready to take their orders.

“I’ll have the Filet Mignon.” Jensen stated.

“And I’ll have the Porcini Lamb.” Misha said, closing his menu.

“And to drink?” The waitress asked.

“Can we have a bottle of Dom Pérignon?” Jensen asked with a smile. Misha and the waitress both shot Jensen the same baffled look.

“Of course sir.” The waitress said, collecting herself. She walked away and disappeared back into the shallow sea of tables.

“Jensen, this is really expensive.” Misha noted.

“It’s a special day,” Jensen affirmed, “And nothing is too expensive for my baby.”

“You know I’m a simple man.” Misha smiled, “You’re spoiling me.”

“Good. And I’ll never stop.” Jensen grinned.

“Okay I know it’s my birthday… but I have a surprise for you.” Misha beamed.

“What?” Jensen pondered. The waitress came back with their bottle, on ice, and began pouring the champagne into their glasses.

“I was going to wait to tell you until later…but…” Misha began, practically bouncing in his seat, “We landed the Del Rey case.”

“What?” Jensen gasped. “No? Lana’s case?”

“Yes. Jensen we did it!” Misha laughed.

They had landed their first big case, the case that was going to change the future of their firm –and their lives- forever, and they knew it.

“Holy shit baby!” Jensen exclaimed. “Here’s to success!” He raised his glass, and Misha followed suit.

“To success!” Misha repeated, taking a sip of the champagne. They smiled at each other. “How did I get so lucky?” Misha breathed.

“What?” Jensen asked.

“How did I get so lucky?” Misha repeated. “Falling in love with the man of my dreams.”

“Misha...” Jensen began.

“No, seriously.” Misha declared.

The waitress came out with their orders, placing them in front of Misha and Jensen respectively.

“You’re all I ever wanted.” Misha continued as he cut into his lamb, taking a bite.

“Misha…” Jensen spoke, cutting his steak. He took a bite.

“Ever since I was a little boy I imagined finding someone who loved me for the goofy little twerp I was. Someone who was funny, and sweet, yet incredibly gorgeous,” Misha continued. “And I found that all in you Jensen.” Misha cut another piece of lamb, smiling as he took a bite.

“Misha,” Jensen cut into his steak and took a bite, “with every passing day my love for you grows exponentially.” Jensen dropped his fork and knife, he planned on doing this later, but couldn’t stop himself. He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I love you, so, so, so much. You’re selfless, understanding, and the funniest son a bitch I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

Misha laughed.

“I love the way our hands fit perfectly together. I love the way you know what I’m thinking or feeling without me even telling you. I love the way your voice gets all deep and hoarse in the morning. I love the way…the way you make me feel like nothing else matters aside from me and you.” Jensen breathed, and Misha looked up at him, blushing.

“I’m always happy when I’m with you. Always have been. Whether we were smoking a joint and pigging out watching movies on the couch like we used to in law school, or drinking fancy champagne at the opera like we do now.” Jensen continued. “You’re my other half Misha…my better half. I love waking up to your face in the morning.”

“But I drool...” Misha laughed, “excessively.” He took a sip of his champagne.

“And I think it’s damn cute.” Jensen grinned. “And I want to wake up to that every day. For the rest of my life.”

“Jensen…” Misha squinted his eyes and tilted his head, but this time his trademark look was not one of confusion. He was smiling.

“Misha…” Jensen began. He pushed out his chair and got down on one knee in front of Misha. The people sitting at the tables around them began to stare, the voices in restaurant becoming a quiet murmur. Jensen reached into his pocket, pulling out a little blue box.

“Jensen.” Misha choked. “Jensen.” He threw his hands to his face, covering his nose and mouth. He shook his head, tears streaming down his face. “Jensen.” He repeated again.

“Misha.” Jensen smiled, holding the box up to his crying boyfriend. He opened the box, revealing the beautiful diamond ring that was inside. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” Misha whispered, placing his hands on his heart. “Yes!” He said louder, getting out of his chair. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” Each declaration was louder than the last. Jensen placed the engagement ring on Misha’s finger, and Misha wrapped his arms around Jensen’s shoulders, kissing him gently. The people at the surrounding tables clapped and whistled, The Polo Club erupting in cheers as Jensen and Misha continued to kiss.

“Let’s get out of here.” Misha hummed.

“But dinner?” Jensen inquired.

“Fuck that.” Misha growled, “I want desert.”

Jensen threw three hundred dollars on the table and led Misha out of The Polo Club. They walked past the main entrance and headed towards the elevators.

“Where are we going?” Misha asked. The elevator dinged, opening directly after.

“I got a room baby.” Jensen smirked, pulling Misha into the elevator. As soon as the elevator doors were closed, they were all over each other. Jensen pushed the third floor button, never taking his lips off of Misha’s. As they kissed, Misha rubbed Jensen’s crotch over his pants, causing him to groan.

When the elevator doors opened Jensen broke away from Misha but continued to hold his hand as he led him out and through the hallway until they got to room at the end of the hall, room 353. Jensen brought out the room key and unlocked the door. When Misha saw the room he let out an incredibly audible gasp.

“Jenny.” Misha paused in the doorway, mouth ajar. “What have I done to deserve this?”

“Everything.” Jensen rubbed his back, leading him into the room before shutting the door behind them. The bed was covered in red rose petals and another bottle of Dom Pérignon was on ice on the bedside table. An abnormally large box of Godiva Chocolate, Misha’s favorite, was on the coffee table.

Misha turned to Jensen, smiling through his tears. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jensen whispered, wiping away Misha’s tears.

“Endlessly.” They both stated at the same time.

Jensen kissed Misha tenderly, “Happy Birthday Baby.”

They undressed each other slowly and purposefully, not wanting to rush the moment. Jensen took of Misha’s suit jacket, placing it carefully on the arm of the couch next to them. Misha did the same, taking off Jensen’s suit jacket and placing it beside his. Lips still attached, they removed each other’s ties and undid the buttons on each other’s shirts. Jensen slowly slid Misha’s shirt off of his arms before doing the same to himself.

They stopped kissing, foreheads pressing against each other as they both looked down, undoing the buttons on each other’s pants. Misha stepped out of his pants, placing them on top of his jacket. Jensen followed. They both stood there in their boxer briefs, hard and excited.

Misha pulled down his underwear, stepping out of it. “Make love to me.” Misha beseeched, hungrily. Jensen replied by removing his own underwear. He walked over to Misha, kissing him passionately. They fell on the bed with a soft thud, flower petals jumping around them.

Jensen got on top of Misha, kissing him slowly as one hand slithered down his body, fingers wrapping around Misha’s hard cock and gently tugging on it as they kissed.

Misha began to breathe harder when Jensen made his way to his neck, sucking on it before placing the first of many sweet kisses along his body. Jensen licked Misha’s collar bone, then took his left nipple into his mouth. Misha winced in response, letting out a soft hiss. Jensen smirked in response, gently biting Misha’s nipple before making his way down to his navel where he dipped his tongue in.

“Scoot up.” Jensen ordered. Misha complied, scooting further up the bed and placing a pillow underneath his head. Jensen knelt between Misha’s legs. He lightly scratched the inside of Misha’s thighs, making Misha squirm underneath him.

“That tickles.” Misha giggled. Jensen continued ticking Misha, getting closer and closer to Misha’s throbbing member every time. “Jenny.” Misha pleaded. Jensen bent down and licked the head of Misha’s penis. He flicked his tongue over the tip repeatedly before taking Misha into his mouth.

“Jenny you’re torturing me.” Misha wheezed.

“You don’t want to take it slow?” Jensen asked. There was a reverberating popping sound as his mouth came off of Misha’s penis.

“No.” Misha puffed, “No foreplay. Just make love to me Jenny.”

Jensen crawled back up to Misha, kissing him. He let his tongue dip into Misha’s mouth, allowing him to taste himself. Jensen opened the bedside drawer, found the lube, and covered his fingers with it, plunging them into Misha as they continued to kiss. Soon, Jensen removed his fingers and pushed his penis into Misha. They both moaned as Jensen rocked his hips. Misha wrapped his legs around Jensen, helping Jensen plummet his entire length into the other man.

“Misha. Baby.” Jensen panted as he picked up his pace, ramming deeper inside Misha.

“Jenny. Sweetheart that feels so goddamn good. Yes!” Misha cried, “Yes Jenny! Just like that c’mon. Right there.” Jensen was thrusting passionately; he wanted to make Misha cum without either of them laying a finger on Misha’s cock. Jensen wanted Misha to cum solely from the pleasurable presence of his cock deep inside of him. He huffed and puffed, his rhythm becoming wilder and his speed picking up as he felt his climax quickly approaching.

“Fuck! Misha.” Jensen moaned.

“Jenny…” Misha whimpered, arching his back. “Mmm fuck! Yes! Right there!” Misha was screaming. “Jenny I’m gunna…I’m gunna…”

Jensen shut Misha up with a kiss, crashing their lips together as they both rode out their orgasms. They both came, hard and simultaneously, each groaning as Jensen pulled out, collapsing on top of Misha, who playfully pushed him off of him.

Then they both lay there, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling.

“I love you.” Misha exhaled, looking at the ceiling.

“Endlessly.” Jensen breathed.


	5. Chapter 5

Misha woke up with Jensen’s arm flopped over his belly. He looked down, watching Jensen’s hand move up and down as he breathed. He kept trying to wrap his mind around the events of the previous night. It had been four years since he shared his pretzel with the other man, and even then Misha knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jensen. But now he couldn’t believe it was actually going to happen.

Misha wondered what he was going to do with his name. He definitely didn’t want to stay Misha Collins, and he loved the sound of Misha Ackles. He knew Jensen would love it too, but he would modestly ask him to hyphenate his name to something along the lines of Misha Ackles-Collins, like their law firm, or vise versa, to Collins-Ackles. Which is something Misha would politely decline. Though as Misha lay there, he began to think it would make sense to keep his last name for the sake of their law firm. But he decided he would figure it out later.

Instead he focused on thoughts of their future wedding. But as Misha began to imagine elegantly dressed wedding guests and tables full of Mason Jars, Jensen’s fingers started to twitch. Misha took Jensen’s hand in his, still holding them on his stomach.

“Good morning baby.” Jensen said groggily. He placed a light kiss on the back of Misha’s neck.

“Good morning sweetheart.” Misha said, turning around to face Jensen. “I want Sam Smith to perform at our wedding.” He was still in the midst of imagining his perfect wedding scenario.

“Well… that’s random.” Jensen noted. “And pretty damn near impossible.” He chuckled.

“He’s good friends with Lana. I’m sure she could call in a favor.” Misha beamed,“I want Latch to be the song we do our first dance to.”

“Woah, slow down baby.” Jensen laughed. “We haven’t even started the case yet.”

“I’m just so excited.”Misha smiled, “I can’t help myself. Can you blame me? In a matter of time I’ll be Misha Ackles.”

Jensen shot Misha a look. The same look Misha knew would be coming. The ‘are you sure?’ look.

“Oh hush. Don’t you say a single word.” Misha ran his thumb across Jensen’s lips, “We’ll figure it out later.” He leaned into Jensen and gently pressed his lips against his fiancé’s.

“Misha.” Jensen said, “I’ll get you Sam Smith.”

“Is that a promise?” Misha asked.

“I promise.” Jensen breathed as he ran his hands through Misha’s hair.

Promises had always been very powerful things. Especially when it came to the promises Jensen and Misha made to each other. Whenever they were made, they were never broken, no matter what.

“Okay. We’ll I’m holding you to it.” Misha said.

“Alright.” Jensen smiled and got up from bed, pulling the covers along with him.

“Hey!” Misha exclaimed, doing nothing to cover up his naked body. “What are you doing?”

Jensen grabbed the large box of Godiva chocolates of off the desk and walked back to the bed. He let the covers drop to his feet, standing comfortably naked with a smile on his face. He crawled onto the bed and sat down in front of Misha, both legs on either side of him, and set the box down on the bed next to them. Misha scooted up and wrapped his legs around Jensen, straddling him. Jensen then proceeded to open the box and pull out a chocolate truffle.

“Open.” He said softly. Misha did as he was told, biting into the truffle that Jensen offered him.

“Mmmm. So fucking good.” Misha whispered, licking his lips. He took another bite.

“Its too early in the morning for you to be moaning like that.” Jensen said, amused by his fiancés actions.

“Is it? Jenny I’m curious…” Misha began. He picked up the issue of Out he found in the bedroom drawer and flipped to a page that appeared to have been earmarked. He smirked and turned the magazine towards Jensen. At the top of the page in big bold letters read, ‘Questions for Your Partner That Totally Aren’t Safe For Work.’

“Oh god.” Jensen sighed, He grabbed the bottle of Dom Pérignon off of the night stand and took a swig from the bottle.

“When did you lose your virginity?” Misha asked. Jensen raised his eyebrow.

“Seventeen.” Jensen answered, “Same as you. You know that.”

“That was a warm up.” Misha said, clearing his throat. “Now… Rough sex or soft sex?”

“The rougher the better baby.” Jensen said. “Once again…”

“I already knew that.” Misha broke in. “Next question. Would you have sex with your best friend?” He asked.

“I already am.” Jensen replied.

“Oh you…” Misha blushed.

“Hand me the magazine.” Jensen commanded, “Let’s make this a little more interesting.” 

Misha handed the magazine over to Jensen, a devilish look on his face. Jensen grinned back at him. “I’m going to ask you four of these questions, pertaining to me in particular. If you get all four correct, you get to serve me breakfast in bed.”

“Umm…How is that considered my prize?” Misha asked, baffled.

“I said, you get to serve me breakfast.” Jensen whispered, “In bed.” He licked his middle finger and brought it around to Misha’s asshole, gently teasing his rim.

“Ohhhh.” Misha closed his eyes and gulped. Jensen forcefully grabbed Misha’s ass then brought his hand back to his mouth, licking his middle finger again. 

“Oh?” Jensen smirked.

“Yes. I get it. Let’s fucking do this.” Misha breathed.

“Alrighty.” Jensen began, “Question one. Is your partner interested in role play?”

“Pfft easy. Yes.” Misha answered, recalling the numerous times Jensen had walked into their bedroom dressed as a cop or a firefighter, among other things.

“Correct. Question Two. Does your partner prefer giving or receiving oral sex?” Jensen asked.

“Receivingggg!” Misha sang. “But you’ve always been incredibly generous.”

Jensen smiled. “Correct. Question three. Does your partner have an unusual fetish?”

“Is that even a question Jenny?” Misha laughed, “Whipped cream. Everywhere. On my balls in particular. God it feels so good when you lick it all off and suck--”

“Alright, alright! Correct.” Jensen broke in, “Question four. Is there something your partner does after sex?” Jensen asked.

“That’s a trick question Jenny.” Misha declared.

“How so?” Jensen grinned.

“We’ll you and I always used to smoke a bowl after every time we fucked during that phase we had in law school.” Misha smiled.

“We we’re high for like three full fucking months.” Jensen laughed.

“Well now that we’re old, boring, and professional, so we never do that anymore.” Misha laughed.

“Ouch.” Jensen put his hand on his heart. “We are none of those things…Except for professional. I’ll give you that one.”

“I’m just trying to get your goat.” Misha giggled, “But did I pass? Did I win?”

“Yes you did baby. And it’s time for me to claim my prize. Turn over.” Jensen huffed.

“Your prize?” Misha gasped.

“There are no losers here.” Jensen noted. “Now spread ‘em.”

Misha complied and Jensen proceeded to devour his innermost center until he had Misha writhing beneath him. All the while, Jensen though about how he could do this every day, pleasing Misha for the rest of his life. And he loved the thought of it. He really did.


	6. Chapter 6

********* One year later *****  
Misha flipped through their wedding pictures, smiling as he palmed the endless pages of photographs. Though it had been five months since their wedding, it felt as though it had been just yesterday that he had walked down the isle, and slow danced with his husband to the soothing sounds of Sam Smith’s _"Latch_."

He remembered the jitters, the sweaty palms, and the countless I love yous. He remembered the sex. He remembered the tears… that were in no way connected to the sex. He remembered their honeymoon. He remembered Paris: touring the Louvre and kissing Jensen under the Eiffel tower.

He remembered all of the good things that had happened in the last year, which had honestly been the best year of his life, without comparison. And upon reaching the last picture in the album, one of him and Jensen walking along the beach in their tuxedos, hands intertwined and feet bare- He closed the album with a gentle thud.

“Let’s have a baby.” Misha said softly. His head was resting in Jensen’s lap, and he was looking up at him affectionately.

“What?” Jensen asked, looking down from his current case file.

Misha sat up, straddling his husband. Jensen dropped the file on the bedside table next to him. “We’ve been doing really well...” Misha said, tracing circles on Jensen’s bare chest, “Financially…emotionally…physically…” He kissed Jensen, “I think it’s time.”

They had nailed the Del Rey case the year before, and since then their careers had skyrocketed so much that Jensen and Misha found themselves working separate cases these days because they had so much to tackle. They bought a four bedroom house in Brentwood that was only ten minutes away from their new office in Santa Monica. It felt as though they were swimming in money, and Jensen was so incredibly happy that they did it all without the financial help of his parents.

Jensen twirled his wedding ring. “I want nothing more than to have a child with you Misha.” Jensen pressed his forehead against his husband’s. “I want to have a baby with my baby.” Jensen kissed Misha’s forehead. “I want the daughter we’ve always dreamed of having.”

“Can you imagine? Our little Zoe running around the house?” Misha breathed.

“Zoe?” Jensen grunted.

“Yes. Zoe.” Misha nodded. “It’s simple, yet beautiful.”

“And if our daughter happens to be a son?” Jensen asked.

“You mean like…transgender or something?” Misha did his beautifully trademarked confused face.

“No…well I mean if that ends up being the case, then yeah…but that’s not what I’m talking about.” Jensen stumbled through his words.

“What in God’s name are you getting at Jensen?” Misha pondered, smiling.

“I mean we’re using a surrogate…” Jensen began.

“Obviously…” Misha exhaled.

“So, what if we end up with a baby boy instead?” Jensen asked.

“Well then I would love Zoe just the same” Misha smiled, “…except I would call him Zane.”

“Zane?” Jensen repeated, laughing. “Baby where do you come up with this stuff.”

“Your name is Jensen. My name is Misha...Well, Dmitri, for all technical purposes… We don’t exactly have common names, so why should our baby?” Misha continued tracing circles on Jensen’s chest.

“You make a good point.” Jensen smiled.

“Aaaannd I’ve already done a lot of research. I found this amazing company…” Misha got up and walked out of the room.

“You’ve been conducting secret research?” Jensen called after him.

Misha walked back into their bedroom with a manila folder in his hand. He threw it on to the bed and Jensen picked it up. The name Zoe was written across the front of the envelope in big black letters.

“You motherfucker.” Jensen smiled as his husband belly flopped onto the bed next to him. Jensen’s smile turned into a grin. He reached behind his pillow, pulling out a manila envelope of his own. On the front it read ‘Mini Misha.’

“Get out.” Misha gasped. He was propping his head up with his hands, elbows digging in to the mattress.

“You weren’t the only one doing research.” Jensen smiled.

“Goddamn.” Misha smiled.

“Goddamn.” Jensen repeated.

“We’re really going to do this.” Misha stated.

“Yes. Yes we are.” Jensen declared. “Baby we’re going to be parents!”

They were both giddy like a bunch of teenage girls at a sleepover.

“How exactly are we going to do this though…” Misha pondered, turning to Jensen, “I’m an only child…”

“…Kenzie…” Jensen started,

“Kenzie’s twenty five! Do you think she’d really be up to carrying our baby, full term?” Misha interrupted his husband.

“You didn’t let me finish baby.” Jensen laughed. “I’m thinking in vitro.”

“Good, I was hoping you’d say that because so was I.” Misha said.

“Kenzie’s eggs…your sperm…” Jensen explained

“We’ll I’d be honored.” Misha teased, placing one hand on his chest.

“The company I found is supposedly the best in the whole damn world.” Jensen said.

“And conveniently located in LA?” Misha asked.

“Mhmm!” Jensen nodded.

“Is it Maggie & Mortimer?” Misha guessed.

“You guessed it!” Jensen smiled, “I’m guessing you found them too.”

“You know it sweetheart.” Misha smiled.

“So you also know what we’re looking at, price wise?” Jensen asked.

“One hundred and fifty thousand. Yep.” Misha said matter-of-factly.

“Is that alright?” Jensen pondered.

“Are you kidding me Jensen? Yes! We can finally afford what we’ve always wanted!” Misha did a little dance. He shook his shoulders and pretended to shake imaginary maracas.

Jensen laughed. “It’s a fucked up world we live in.” He breathed, “Babies are the product of love, whether by accident or on purpose. We love each other, we make love, we want babies. But we can’t have them. Some people hate each other, fuck once, and bam! Baby! It’s just not fair Misha. It’s just not fair.”

“I know sweetheart. I know.” Misha rubbed Jensen’s thigh. They were silent for a short while, lingering in the possibilities and the promise of their future lives with their future son or daughter.

“We should run this by Kenzie.” Jensen broke the silence.

“One step ahead of you Jenny.” Misha smiled, “I already told her we’re coming over for lunch tomorrow. So get some sleep because you’re going to be the one doing the talking.”

“I hate you.” Jensen laughed, pulling the covers over his face. Misha climbed in next to him, throwing the covers over his head.

“On the contrary sweetheart.” Misha said, turning to Jensen, “As a matter of fact, I happen to know that you are very much in love with me. Head over heels even!” He poked Jensen’s side, causing him to giggle.

“You’re the goddamn love of my life Misha.” Jensen smiled. “You’re a fucking clown, but I love you. With everything I have.” He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Misha’s lips, then reached out from under the covers to turn off his bedside lamp. “Goodnight baby.” He said, giving his husband another kiss.

“Goodnight sweetheart.” Misha replied softly, turning off his lamp.

Jensen moved closer to Misha, spooning him, and they both drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.


	7. Chapter 7

“You want me to destroy my very fit…and still very single…twenty five year old body? Nuh-uh. Nope. Not even for you Jensen. I cant.” Mackenzie was pacing back and forth in her kitchen, the pitter-patter of her feet sounded like water droplets against the marble floor.

“Wait…” Misha said, “Very single? What happened to you and Marco?”

Marco Castillo was Mackenzie’s on again, off again boyfriend. She met him soon after she moved to Los Angeles two years before. She was perusing through a Gala at the Getty Museum when she bumped into him – literally- and they began talking from there. Mackenzie soon found out that Marco had provided the Getty with most of the pieces for the said Gala, and that he was a wealthy art dealer from Spain. They became one of those couples that was clearly in love with each other, but continuously fluctuated between cycles of fucking and fighting. Neither Jensen, nor Misha, thought it was very healthy.

“Seriously Misha.” Jensen shot his husband a glare that practically screamed ‘what the fuck.’ “Is that the most important thing you got out of that?”

“What _ever_ do you mean?” Misha asked nonchalantly, “I didn’t hear her say anything after the word body…”

“Listen.” Mackenzie stopped pacing and poured more wine into her glass, “First of all,” She said, pointing to Misha with her index finger. The rest of her digits stayed wrapped tightly around her glass, “Marco and I have been on a break for a week and four days. Therefore I am very much single.”

“Bullshit.” Jensen scoffed. Though he had to admit, that was four days longer than he had ever remembered them being apart.

“Second of all.” She pointed to Jensen, “Did you really think I was going to let you…” She moved her finger back and forth between Misha and her brother “just stick a fucking baby in me?” She pointed to herself.

“Well when you put it that way…” Misha said, “You make it sound so wrong.”

Jensen shot Misha another glare. “That’s also not what we’re trying to do here Mackenzie.”

“The fuck do you mean?” She asked, taking a sip.

“C’mon Kenzie. Think about it for a second.” Jensen brought his head to his hand in exasperation.

“Think about it? THINK about it?” Mackenzie laughed. “I support you guys and everything, but this is fucking crazy!”

“In vitro.” Misha let out a frustrated sigh, “We’re talking about in vitro.”

“Oh. What?” Mackenzie put her glass on the counter, “Why didn’t you say that earlier?”

“Well…you didn’t really give us a chance to.” Jensen pointed out.

“Oh umm…” Mackenzie looked down at her feet, “Well now I feel bad for blowing up at you guys.”

“Honestly what kind of a brother do you think I am?” Jensen poured more wine into his glass. “Do you want some more wine baby?” Jensen asked, looking over his shoulder at Misha.

“Yes please.” Misha handed his glass over to Jensen who filled it before returning it to him.

“Now will you take a minute to listen to our proposition?” Jensen tried his best not to sound as annoyed as he was.

“Yes.” Mackenzie nodded. “I’m sorry.” She picked up the bottle of wine from the table, double fisting. “Lets go to the dining room table and talk.”

They followed Mackenzie out of her kitchen and into her dining room, where the walls were a dark navy color, and a chandelier hung over the center of her long, glass dining table. She took a seat at the head of the table and placed the bottle of wine in front of her. Jensen and Misha sat down on either side of her, directly across from each other.

“So.” Jensen cleared his voice, “Misha and I want nothing more than to bring a child into this world.”

“This I know.” Mackenzie took a sip of her wine. Jensen and Misha looked at each other.

“And the only conceivable way of making that happen is through surrogacy.” Misha said, “And we want to focus on in vitro.”

“That’s where you would come in.” Jensen said.

“Did you guys fucking rehearse this?” Mackenzie grinned. She finished her glass of wine and proceeded to pour another one.

Jensen cleared his throat. “No.” He lied. Jensen recollected his thirty minute drive to Mackenzie’s house in The Valley. He and Misha must have practiced each and every scenario of this conversation at least twice along the way.

“Alright.” Mackenzie gave them a knowing look, furrowing her eyebrows as she drank her wine.

“Anyway, we would use my sperm.” Misha continued, “To fertilize one of your eggs.”

“Since you pretty much have the same DNA as I do, it works perfectly.” Jensen added, “That way the baby will have a little bit of Misha, and a little bit of me.”

“What about mom?” Mackenzie asked.

“Wha—” Jensen began, mouth agape.

“Instant regret! Instant fucking regret!” Mackenzie gulped down more wine, “Forget I even suggested that.”

“Yeeeaaahh…” Jensen let out a long, drawn out sigh. He moved the bottle of wine away from his sister and she glared at him.

“All we need are a few of your eggs.” Misha stated. “And we’d use a gestational surrogate to hold the fertilized egg.”

“So you don’t actually have to worry about ruining your ‘very fit…and still very single’ body.” Jensen confirmed, using air quotes.

“And we would pay you of course.” Misha added.

“Stop talking. The both of you.” Mackenzie took a deep breath, “I’m in.”

“Wh—What?” Jensen stuttered. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll do it.” Mackenzie smiled, wearily at first, but it quickly turned into a toothy grin. “As long as nothings going to be shacking up inside of me, I’m cool!”

Misha reached across the table and grabbed Jensen’s hand. Both of their eyes were watery, threatening to let tears escape.

“You guys are going to be kick ass parents, I know it.” Mackenzie took a sip of her wine, still smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

********** four months later ******

There was a reason why Maggie & Mortimer was world renown for its surrogacies. Within five days of Jensen and Misha stepping into their Beverly Hills office, they had found the pair a surrogate. Her name was Manon. She was a twenty seven year old French woman with caramel colored skin and a petite frame. When she was first introduced to Jensen and Misha she was wearing a beautiful blue sundress with white heels. Her dark brown hair was in a perfectly messy bun-a way she would continue to wear it for the duration of her stay with the Ackles’- and her smile was the prettiest one Misha had ever seen aside from his husband’s. 

She was gorgeous. It made Misha wonder why a girl like her was working with Maggie & Mortimer, and not strutting down a catwalk. But his questions were answered soon after that first meeting.

Apparently Manon was a model…we’ll she had been, but she moved to the states after she had some kind of spiritual calling. She wanted to do something different with her life. Why surrogacy? Well, she still hadn’t told them why. But she was new to the states and needed a way to make some money. And she sure was. Jensen and Misha were shelling out one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for the best doctors in the best agency Los Angeles had to offer.

Manon moved in with Jensen and Misha after being implanted with one of Mackenzie’s fertilized eggs three months earlier. She was staying in one of their guest rooms for the time being, communicating with the small amount of English she knew, and the even smaller amount Misha remembered from taking an AP French class in high school. 

It was strange how perfectly matched she had been with Jensen and Misha. She enjoyed the same movies (with sub titles of course), food, and taste in music as the pair. They liked Manon and considered her a friend directly upon meeting her. She was bubbly and energetic, all in all fun to have around. Jensen knew that if he had met her ten years earlier, the high school version of himself probably would have crushed on the French girl. Manon would definitely have been the type of girl Jensen would have killed to fuck during his experimental phase.

Jensen laughed the thought away, snuggling closer to his husband on the couch as the three of them watched Inglorious Bastards. The next day they were scheduled to attend what felt like their hundredth meeting with Maggie & Mortimer since they began the process four months earlier. And after two failed attempts at conception, they were going in to hear news concerning the results of their third attempt. Manon had been feeling quite queasy as of late, so Jensen and Misha were optimistic that the next day they would hear the good news they had been waiting for.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

“I’m sorry.” Dr. Tropht said compassionately, looking back and forth between Misha and Jensen. Manon was in a separate room, having already heard the news.

“Sorry?” Jensen repeated, practically spitting the word back at her in disgust. “I’m so tired of hearing that.”

“I’m—” She started.

“Don’t.” Jensen broke in. “Don’t you fucking say it again.”

“Mr. Ackles, please calm down. I understand that this is hard but ---” Dr. Tropht began.

“I just want a goddamn baby.” Jensen got up from his chair, “I just want… my baby.” He said before he stormed out of her office, fighting tears. 

“Just give us a moment.” Misha pleaded. He got up and followed his husband into the hallway.

“C’mere Sweetheart.” Misha pulled Jensen into an embrace, “It will be alright. Everything will be alright.” He rubbed Jensen’s back. “Luck just hasn’t been on our side this time, that’s all.” 

Jensen continued to sob, head buried in Misha’s chest. “That’s all?” The fabric of Misha’s shirt muffled his words.

“Shhhh…” Misha ran his fingers through Jensen’s hair. “I know we’re used to getting what we want Jenny. But sometimes…we just can’t. We can’t always get what we want when we want it.”

“It just hurts so badly.” Jensen cried. “Why is this happening to us?”

“I don’t know Jensen.” Misha tried to hold back his own tears in an effort to stay strong for his husband. “I just don’t know.”

“I don’t know if I can do this again.” Jensen said, pulling his head away from Misha’s chest. Misha continued to hold him in a tight embrace.

“Sweetheart don’t say that. You don’t mean it.” Misha wiped away Jensen’s tears. “Forth times a charm, huh?” Misha’s smile wavered. His heart was breaking. Though every fiber of his being was telling him to be strong, he could feel his hope crumbling beneath the weight of their constant disappointment. 

Jensen didn’t know it yet, but there was a sense of urgency and guilt clawing away at Misha. There was a secret Misha had been keeping from Jensen for the past month. It was a secret so taxing that he just couldn’t find the strength to tell his already fragile husband, because Misha knew once he told Jensen what it was, it would destroy him.

Misha was getting deployed to the Middle East. After years of thinking he was free to live a normal life, he was being dragged back into a promise he had made to his country…and his late father… ten years prior. But that was before Misha met Jensen, before he knew what his life had in store for him. And now, he was going to be yanked away from the man that meant more to him than life itself. And he couldn’t let that happen without giving Jensen the baby they had always wanted. The only issue was that Misha was being deployed in a little over a month, which barely gave him and Jensen enough time to try their hand at becoming parents one final time. 

“Don’t worry Jensen.” Misha ran a hand through his husband’s hair, “I promise you. Next time it’ll all work out.”

“How can you be so sure?” Jensen sobbed.

“I have faith.” Misha breathed, pulling Jensen back into his chest where he continued to cry.

That night while they lay in their bed, Jensen slept with his head pressed against Misha’s chest. Misha lay awake, watching his husband sleep beneath him. Jensen had been more vulnerable now than Misha had ever seen him before.

Misha honestly felt as though he should be the one snuggling against his husbands toned chest. That’s the way it usually was, and though Misha was sad too, he didn’t let it show because after all the times he had buried his head in his husband’s chest, he felt as though this time he owed it to Jensen to be the strong one. 

But Misha was honestly scared shitless for their future, a future that once felt so planned, but was now seemingly unwritten.


	9. Chapter 9

“What’s with the sparked interest in war movies Baby?” Jensen asked his husband, who had just laid Saving Private Ryan, American Sniper, and The Hurt Locker on the table in front of them. 

 _‘Oh trust me I have no interest in watching this shit, because I’ll be living it in about a months time.’_ Misha imagined saying. But instead he shrugged his shoulders and said, “I’ve always thought they were cool.” 

It had been a week since their last visit to Maggie and Mortimer, and they would be going back in another week to inseminate Manon one final time. 

“Okay, whatever you say.” Jensen breathed. He picked up The Hurt Locker and quickly looked over the front and back cover of the disc jacket. “Lets watch this one.” 

“Alrighty.” Misha got up from the couch and headed for the dvd player. As he was putting the disc in, his phone dinged, signaling he had received a text message.

“Hey, someone named Mark Sheppard just sent you a text message.” Jensen sounded confused.

 _Shit. Shit. Shit._ Misha would recognize that name anywhere. It was one of his old training camp buddies. 

“He says he…‘can’t wait to see you again’ because apparently it’s ‘been too long.’” Jensen read.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shiiiiitt._

“I can explain.” Misha turned around to see a pained look on his husband’s face. He walked over to Jensen and sat down beside him on the couch. 

“I sure hope you can.” Jensen crossed his arms over his chest. 

Misha’s mouth felt dry. “Mark’s a buddy from the army.” He explained. 

“Okaaayy…” Jensen hummed, “Why is he still contacting you after eleven years…” 

Misha stayed silent. 

“Misha?” Jensen demanded.

Misha figured he might as well be blunt with it. He didn’t have much time left. “I’m being deployed Jensen.” 

Jensen’s gasp would have been audible from a mile away. “Ex—Excuse me?” He breathed, “You’re _what?_ ” 

“I’m being deployed Jen,” Misha repeated, “And I don’t really have much of a choice in the matter.” 

“I don’t understand.” Jensen sniffled. “This is impossible. They can’t do this!” 

“Apparently they can.” Misha sighed.

The room stayed silent. Jensen almost wished Misha was cheating on him. It probably would have been a lot easier to handle. 

“How long do you have?” Jensen whispered.

Misha stayed silent. 

“How long?” Jensen yelled. 

“Three weeks.” Misha mumbled.

Jensen broke down, unable to stop the river of tears that poured out of his eyes. He felt as though a dam had just been broken, unleashing a torrent of water.

“Goddamn it Misha.” Jensen bawled, “God fucking dammit.” 

“I enlisted before I met you Jenny.” Misha fought back tears, “I was just a kid then. A kid hell bent on avenging his father through his own twisted sacrifice.” 

“We can find a way out of this. We can make them take it back.” Jensen pleaded, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Misha sniffled. “I can’t.” 

“Baby…why” Jensen asked even though his husband had already given him an answer. 

“It was before I knew I would fall in love. I was young…stupid.” Misha tried to explain, his own tears beginning to fall. 

“Well now what?” Jensen asked, completely as at a loss. 

“We make the most out of the next three weeks. Do what we can to enjoy what time we have left.” Misha supposed.

“Why are you saying shit like that…why are you talking like you’re going to die. You’re not gonna fucking die Misha.” Jensen whimpered.

Misha stayed silent. He knew he was throwing their whole world in a loop. Things just weren't going the way they were supposed to. He knew he had waited to long to tell Jensen.

“You’re a lawyer not a fucking _soldier_ Misha.” Jensen cried.

“Jensen…” Misha broke. 

“You…you can’t leave me Misha.” Jensen pleaded. “Not now.” 

“I won’t be gone for too long.” Misha guessed.

“How do you know that?” Jensen wailed.

Misha stayed silent. He didn’t know. He honestly didn’t know.

“I don’t believe this.” Jensen cried. He got up from the couch, “You can find me in our room when you’re ready to admit this was just some twisted joke.” Jensen backed away before running up the stairs. 

Misha didn’t know what he was expecting to happen when his husband found out. But it certainly didn’t expect it to happen this way. This wasn’t what he wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are incredibly welcome and encouraged!


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